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Proving Myself…

June 20, 2009

Lately I’ve been feeling some self-doubt.  Don’t get me wrong… etsy is going great… making a few sales a week which keeps me satisfied!  I’m gearing up for the festival in a few months.  I have a lot of fiber to dye up… a lot of fiber to spin up and a lot of things in the old noggin that I’d like to knit up for my display.   I’ve been pouring through craft blog after craft blog and getting more and more inspiration.  Also picking up a fair amount of intimidation and maybe a little pinch of jealousy.  Some of these women… well… they’re just cool!  Their photography is lustworthy… their knitting and spinning skills amazing.  So where does that leave me?  It leaves me wanting.  I picked up an application for our local art guild… and to be honest I haven’t even written my name on it yet.  Am I ready to claim the title of “artist”.  I believe that is what I was made to be.  So what holds me back?  Fear? Probably.  Self-doubt?  Yeah, some of that too.

I’ve thought lately… can I call myself a spinner even though I’ve never sat at a wheel?  I have a kick spindle… and I’m getting pretty good at it… but is it enough? Am I bold enough to say “this is how I do it…  And it’s awesome!” ? I hope I am.  I have taught others to knit and am proud to have shared that gift, but I’m scared to try tricky patterns (come on, you know I’m not a pattern type of girl).  The ideas of my own handknit sweaters and socks clothing me and the ones I love… that is so exciting to me… but I’ve never even tried.

So… 2009… you’re not done yet… just because it’s June… you don’t get to win.   Here is my gauntlet… I’m throwing it down.

I’m starting a sock… and we’ll take it from there…

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. June 20, 2009 5:26 pm

    Love your passion here! Take life by the balls. You are doing it.

  2. June 20, 2009 6:17 pm

    i believe in you with all my heart

  3. June 21, 2009 4:23 pm

    Hey Lady, Self-doubt is not so uncommon within any artistic community…Your yarns are wonderful altho it’s hard to see that yourself. You look at others in a kinder light …we all do! You keep growing and leave the results to God. Rest in knowing you’re doing something with the talents and passions He’s given you 🙂 What you are doing is reflection of who you are at this moment…what others are doing a reflection of their journey. Comparing is a killer girl!! I’m still learning that lesson even tho i’m way older than you LOL From one *artist* to another, press on SB…the best is yet to come

  4. June 22, 2009 9:30 am

    thank you Pam!!! Your words carry much weight in my heart… you are family to me. So thank you… it means much more and speaks to me much deeper than you know.

  5. June 22, 2009 10:02 am

    Acknowledging doubt is the first step toward embracing your gift. I know it first hand.

    Looking forward to buying more beautiful work from you.

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